BETWEEN THE LINES

I felt sick at the house.
I felt sick on the train.
The moment I arrived, I felt fine.

Some people and situations teach us about sides of ourselves we don’t fully know. If ever shoehorned into uncomfortable spaces, we may also be forced to face truths about ourselves. Circumstantially, it can be a lengthy process. Even with ordinary escape routes (of partnerships, of working patterns), the outlying tension feels harder going.

However, tension is a formula for growth. Not in moving on, but in understanding why.


This internal journey made me realise that vulnerability and strength are companions on a continual path to self-awareness. By learning to navigate moments of weakness — on my own — I am better positioned to define what strength and stability truly mean to me. Of course, this is different for us all.

Making a fresh start sounds appealing, but it is also scary. Again, personally, one of the changes of later years is a growing contentment with solitude. Previously, being alone would bring feelings of weakness and vulnerability. Not now. And yet, physically travelling away from established patterns and norms, I sensed both. Those emotions have lessened — no longer interwoven.

How might the desire for strength and stability become something more embodied, more integrated? That is the next move. That is the question. Not just how to change. How to live with change as a way of being.

What may matter is not arriving at anything “better” in any fixed way but remaining willing to question ourselves. To stay open to self-examination. To make room for personal progression, between the lines and through openness.



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